


Goku and the Bad Blonde Babes

by Awareness_Bringer



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M, Gen, More than a One-shot, based on fanart
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-17
Updated: 2019-09-21
Packaged: 2020-06-30 08:35:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,371
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19849480
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Awareness_Bringer/pseuds/Awareness_Bringer
Summary: An older Goku takes a different trip to Dream Land with Launch along. Originally based off of a piece of fanart.





	1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dragon Ball, or any of its associated characters and lore. That right belongs to Akira Toriyama.**

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**Goku and the Bad Blonde Babes**

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**Dream Land, West City, Earth, Age 750, May 9**

It seemed like a foolproof plan as far as Hasky was concerned. By disguising herself as a fortune teller, having her goons nearby, and setting up a bomb to blow up the amusement park to make her getaway, she was convinced that the Dragon Balls would be right in her lap to deliver to the Red Ribbon Army and the World Martial Arts Tournament Champion holding them, Goku, would be as good as dead. However, for all of Hasky's experiences as a master thief, she didn't expect her onetime rival in crime, Launch, to appear alongside her target. As soon as the spiky-haired adolescent with the monkey tail entered the fortune teller's tent alongside Launch, who Hasky was all but certain would recognize her from the time they attempted to rob the same thing, the latter didn't feel so confident, especially since Launch swore revenge from their prior encounter.

'No.' Hasky thought to herself in self-assurance. 'No need to panic, Hasky. She probably doesn't even remember you.' Composing herself for a good performance, she greeted the two with a seemingly polite smile. "Hello there. Would you like to have your fortunes told?"

Seeing Launch whisper something undiscernible to Goku, Hasky kept her polite smile even as she started to sweat in concern, wondering if Launch recognized her and was warning Goku about her. Hasky's fears were soon put to rest, though, when Goku smiled innocently at her and said. "Sure, that sounds pretty neat."

Playing around with the crystal ball in front of her, Hasky started to play her role as a false fortune teller. "I see that you, young man, have two balls hidden in your clothing that will play an important role in things to come." Not exactly a fine, false divination as they come, but if it got the job done, then Hasky would take it.

In response, Goku scratched the back of his in slight embarrassment. "Well, I guess that kind of "balls" do have some part to play in procreation, but that's a pretty dirty fortune."

Blushing heavily in her own embarrassment at the innuendo, Hasky stammered. "What?! No, that's not what I meant!"

"Yeah, he tends to be dirty like that." Launch said nonchalantly.

Turning to where Launch was, Hasky saw her elbow jab her Human flunky in the gut followed by punching his anthropomorphic boar counterpart in the face. With the both of them unconscious, Launch and Goku then turned to the cornered mercenary.

Sighing uncomfortably, Hasky commented to Launch. "So, you do recognize me."

Her onetime rival just smirked and replied. "Unfortunately for you, yes." Launch then restrained Hasky and prevented her from reacting properly.

Goku then inputted with a grin. "So, Hasky, I don't suppose you can tell us who told you about the Dragon Balls before we decide where you go next, right?"

Looking down on the floor in dismay, Hasky groaned before saying. "I surrender."

Launch laughed at Hasky's dismay. "Quickest payback in history."

Goku giggled. "That's kind of debatable."

All Launch could do at the moment was scoff at Goku's response.

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**I was inspired to write something for Launch and the "Master Thief" Hasky from looking up a piece of fanart on DeviantArt displayed by DukeyDukeyDoo/LooneyTunerIan called Dragonball – The Bad Blonde Babes Gang. What DDD/LTI had in mind was more of a story featuring the two ladies and Lazuli before she would've become Android 18 forming a gang of their own with Goku as their "pet", though, but it was hard for me to find my focus, and I couldn't really see Lazuli bailing on her own younger twin brother, Lapis/17, so I just wrote a one-shot with a physically older Goku instead. Nonetheless, I do recommend looking up the story behind the art, though. There's only so few good AUs that began with the very first Dragon Ball series in my opinion.**


	2. Chapter 2

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**Chapter Two**

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**Outside the Red Ribbon Army Headquarters, May 12**

In the three days that followed the events at Dream Land, Goku and Launch with a strung along Hasky had spent their time beating the Red Ribbon Army in getting the Dragon Balls before the paramilitary criminals themselves did. While Goku figured that Hasky should be put in jail for her past crimes, he and Launch both agreed that her insight on her old employers would be helpful in the upcoming confrontations, so they brought her along with them. Whenever Hasky tried to turn on them, Launch would then eagerly spank her as a way of discipline, which kept the former in their reserve, even with her sarcastic comments. With Hasky's access to the Red Ribbons' communications systems and Goku's own Dragon Radar, the three had acquired all but one of the seven Dragon Balls and were just a mile away from the palace-like Headquarters of the Army itself to take Commander Red down for good and acquire the missing Five-Star Dragon Ball.

Upon seeing the Army's base of operations, Goku couldn't help but whistle at the fortress' impressive appearance as he then said. "Wow! These Red Ribbon clowns sure know how to live in style! This place might as well be a royal castle."

Launch had her own words to say as she rubbed her hands greedily. "And any and all money that they haven't spent yet will be mine, Goku, all mine!"

Hasky scoffed at Launch's words before turning to Goku. "Seriously, handsome, why do you put up with this backstabber? She just admitted she won't give you your own cut of the profits."

Goku just shrugged innocently at that statement and replied. "Whether she's joking, or being serious makes no difference to me. I definitely know that there's more valuable things in life than money."

Launch then cuddled close to Goku as she suggestively asked. "Like good looking women, Goku?"

Goku laughed and said. "You know it, Launch." The two then shared a kiss while Hasky looked away annoyed.

Seeing Hasky's expression, Launch called her out. "You're just a jealous hypocrite because you aren't as lucky as me!"

Hasky sputtered before retorting. "I am not jealous! And what's this about me being a hypocrite?"

"Would you have given percentages to your ex-lackies where I wouldn't?"

Rolling her eyes, Hasky pinched her nose as she replied begrudgingly. "Fair enough." Turning serious, she then asked. "So how do you two want this handled?"

"Goku will handle the goons here while you and I head to their safe of valuables." Launch informed her with a smirk before adding with a thought towards Goku. "Still, maybe you should go easy on the sellable hardware. There are more ways to make money than just stealing money."

"Honestly, I kind of have half a mind to call this place our own." Goku gestured to the building with a smile. "I know we're not royalty, but this just looks nice enough to live in."

Launch and even Hasky couldn't restrain a laugh at Goku's words as the Martial Artist himself shrugged sheepishly, but the former soon called out. "Alright, we get the idea. Now, let's get richer!"

"You got it, Launch!" Goku exclaimed in affirmation. Excited for the upcoming fight, he quickly left kisses on the foreheads of both Launch and a surprised Hasky before he then went off first towards the Red Ribbon Army Headquarters, leaving two stunned women in his wake.

"Uh, why did he give me a kiss, too?" Hasky asked at last while Launch growled.

"Apparently, he and I are going to have a talk about fidelity!" Launch yelled as she kicked the ground and scared Hasky at the same time.

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**In light of the first one-shot's lackluster performance, I decided to add on to it with this piece to both add romance and keep interest in the original story idea alive. I just hope that the one who brainstormed it in the first place doesn't mind because I don't really want to be in an unnecessary argument with them forever.**


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